‘Silage, manure and cow dung’: Leaders’ Questions descends into farmyard cacophony

The Taoiseach can stand up in the Dáil and give chapter and verse of how much money has already been pumped into easing the financial stress on people trying to pay their escalating energy bills. It’s something he does every day now at Leaders’ Questions as the byelections approach and the Opposition goes all out to keep the fuel crisis and the Government’s handling of it to the forefront of voters’ minds. Micheál Martin talks about the reduction of VAT on electricity charges, extending the fuel allowance and deferring carbon tax increases. He talks about the package of measures introduced to alleviate pressures on people in general and on the food production and haulage sectors in particular. Those “just announced” supports are worth upwards of three-quarters-of-a-billion euro, he reminded the Dáil on Wednesday. And he will keep doing it, not that it matters how much money has been recently spent to tackle the domestic fallout from the global fuel crisis. As Micheál knows all too well at this stage: heating bread is soon forgotten. The less-than-surprising news that Ireland now has the most expensive electricity in Europe was grist to the Opposition mill, providing further ammunition for its concerted push to squeeze a mini-budget out of the Coalition sooner rather than later while the Taoiseach and his troops dig in and hope to hold out until the actual budget in October. Sinn Féin leader Mary Lou McDonald reiterated her call for an emergency budget. Later on, Labour’s Duncan Smith went one further and called for an emergency debate and a mini-budget. Holly Cairns, the leader of the Social Democrats, called for “emergency supports today and solutions for tomorrow” to cushion households from future energy shocks, suggesting Martin might adopt her party’s “comprehensive plan” to fill the gap. A mini-budget can’t come fast enough for the Opposition. Mary Lou McDonald, in her usual understated way, said Micheál had to respond to the people under pressure. But when? “Now – not next October, not next January. Now, in May. Now, as these bills are landing. Now, as families are under this level of pressure.” While the other party leaders also focused on the shocking cost of electricity and the latest price rises, they concentrated more on solutions. Holly Cairns and her Labour counterpart, Ivana Bacik, agreed that renewable energy was the way forward and were scathing in their criticism of the Government’s despairingly slow attempts to put an effective wind and solar energy plan in place. Holly said the Soc Dems’ plan included “Solar for All” – which would make solar panels free for the homes most at risk of energy poverty, improve grants and roll out plug-in solar. It would make a huge difference to people’s lives if they could simply plug in “panels from their balconies and watch their bills fall”. It’s practical and achievable, so why is the Government not doing it? Ivana wasn’t impressed by the Taoiseach’s recent musings on nuclear power and the “harebrained notion” from his backbencher James O’Connor that it “somehow represents a solution to the crushing cost of energy here” when it takes a minimum of 15 years to get going. Why can’t we be more like Spain and ramp up renewable energy? “It seems that Fianna Fáil are the Don Quixote of Irish politics: you’re frightened of windmills.” Even Micheál laughed, at first, before disputing her charge and her “silly” Don Quixote statement and “all that nonsense”. “We’ve been driving renewables for quite some time,” he replied, supplying a lot of detail about all of the important things that are almost done. “And the Critical Infrastructure Bill will be very significant.” Ken O’Flynn, of Independent Ireland, went down the nuclear energy path, too. If Ireland is taking nuclear energy from France as soon as the interconnector between the two countries is up and running then why not lift the ban on producing the same energy at home? The Sinn Féin leader, as always, stuck with her predictable mix of sound, fury and furious soundbites. She explained Micheál’s response to the punitive electricity prices to him. “You come up blank and all you offer is spoof and distraction. When will you intervene? You really are a Do Nothing Taoiseach.” She usually gives out to him about his “Do Nothing Dáil”, which would have been apt on Tuesday. Because of the bank holiday, it didn’t sit on Tuesday and only resumed at 2pm on Wednesday. Business finished before 8pm. As for her latest brickbat, Micheál wasn’t having it. “No disrespect, Deputy, to you and your party, but you are the personification of spoof and bluster,” he said to loud backbench approval. Had they implemented Sinn Féin’s suggested measures in the October budget then “inflation would be close to 5 per cent now”, he told her. “We have already acted and you know that €750 million package is not spoof” but “real funding” for people in the food production sector such as farmers, contractors and hauliers. “It might be spoof to you because you are a Johnny-come-lately when it comes to the farming world...” he snarked. Mary Lou reached for the smelling salts. “Pardon me?” “... but it’s not spoof to the people benefiting from it.” The noise rose to farmyard levels as the Ceann Comhairle Verona Murphy struggled to keep order. The Sinn Féin leader may be a Mary-Lou-come-lately when it comes to agricultural matters, but it would be true to say that Micheál is hardly a horny-handed son of the soil, no matter how many pairs of photo-op wellies he’s pulled on during a long political career. McDonald was not impressed. “Silage, manure and cow dung. Were you out cutting the silage?” she remarked sarcastically. The Ceann tried to reimpose some order as TDs howled at each other across the floor. “Pleeese, Deputy McDonald.” Whereupon Mary Lou let out a contemptuous “Go way outta that.” Not to Verona, but to the Taoiseach. “Exactly,” Micheál said in riposte. Then, channelling Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men, he cried: “You don’t want to listen to anybody because you are incapable of listening to the truth.” “Thank you, Taoiseach,” Verona said quickly, calling on Ivana Bacik. But the other two were still at it. “The bottom line is,” Micheál began as the Ceann told him the bottom line was that his time was up. But he persisted, keen to tell Mary Lou why she couldn’t handle the truth. She got the last word, enquiring sweetly into the din: “Did you come in on your tractor?”